would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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