I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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