I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
