i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
