I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
