You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
