Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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