Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
