It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
