the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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