As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
