This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize