so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize