In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
