I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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