Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
well, you know. whores of a feather.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
