The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
