he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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