This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
