I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
