your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize