Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize