If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
wow bdsm is so cute
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
