so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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