i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
