I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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