JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
