I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
