Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
