Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
