We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
