I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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