what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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