He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
