physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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