he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it glows. i had to have it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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