you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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