I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
