we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
