she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
