yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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