You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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