well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
