TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
