I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize