i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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