Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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