Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
