Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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