i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
