Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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