thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
