Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
