Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
