My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
