Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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