Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
