I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
