she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
