I'm going to rape someone's good day.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
