What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
