I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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