i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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