your parents love me but you hate me
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
